You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize