i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
