My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
