The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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