Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
