It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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