Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
