i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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