i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
