Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
