you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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