Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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