when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
