Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
well you can't waste a boner
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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