Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
