you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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