Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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