Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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