is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
