you would pick up someone in the library
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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