I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
