i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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