ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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