Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
