Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
