Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
