if i can run in heels then i can drive
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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