think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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