A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
