Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize