What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
