Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
