You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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