uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
