Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
