So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
