DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
