Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
