Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
