the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
