Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize