it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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