At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize