Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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