I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
