And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
