I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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