I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
