i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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