My nipple is on Facebook.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
