I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
