its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
