epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My dad just said "fuck circus"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
