so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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