There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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